i dreamed of YOU

hey you, i miss you.

i dreamed of you few days ago.

keep thinking of you here.

haihhh, nevermind, as you said..let God decide the best for us :D

wait and pray.

i dont mind if you are the special one that God has reserve for me.

mula lah nak melalut..ok,sekian,ada 3 paper lagi..wheeee!

the beginning of the battle~

the first day of the exam.

one down, five more to go :)

be patience, Beatrice!

Otakku tepu.

Fokus kan orang kat atas ni blaja?

haha.bak kata orang sarawak,eksen jak ya :P

semakin bertambah sem, semakin malas nak blaja.

semakin bertambah sem, semakin susah nak mengingat.

2 hipotesis yang aku buat...

im not sure whether it happened to me alone or not.

however, that's the truth..

tapi, exam tetap exam.

tak boleh escape.

i must face the truth.

6 papers. ok,don't give up. bye.

-a young lady who has a 'concentrated brain' at the moment-

WORRY is a SIN!

Remember this dear fren,

WORRY is a SIN.

He said "Do not worry. Leave everything to Me. I will take care of everything. If you worry, you are not making Me happy. "

See, it sounds so simple yet many of us tend to feel worry about what we have, what we're going to wear, what we're going to eat, what we're going to drink...n so on..

Let me share with u this scripture:

Jesus says, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” (Matthew 6:25)

So, here's the key -FAITH. God wants us to walk by faith. Why should we ever worry again?

Worry is unnecessary. Because there is one thing that matters most in our life. Put Him first:

'But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.' (Matthew 6:33)

Frankly speaking, within these two months, i worried about lotsa things. =.='

But then, after I read a book, it mentioned that God doesn't like to see His children feeling worry or doubt about His ability.

So, when i started to feel worry, I directly recalled about what i've read. From that moment, I really lift up everything to God's hands.

Do not feel bad if u're lacking of anything, for He knows what we need. Seriously, the statement 'WORRY IS A SIN' affects my life a lot. I began not to worry but continue to live a happy life.

Jesus says, 'Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' (Matthew 6:34)

So, keep reminding urself that WORRY IS A SIN!

Trust me, have a try and u will see how God works in ur life.

Based from my own experience,

God's princess.

all the best Beatrice!

gahhhh..exam is just around the corner.

3 days left.

to my dearest frens,all the best n may God bless all of us!

:D

i miss u.SERIOUSLY!

agree. totally agree.

but whatever it is, i must admit this: I MISS U A LOT.

=.='

Hello sunrise!

Taken at Kem Alapong, Lundu, Sarawak.

God's creations are wonderful! :D

Convocation Photoshoot!

21 October, my phone rang...

Someone: Catalia is here again. They need ppl to help them. Do u mind?

Me: Oh, i dont mind. It's my pleasure... :)))

n that's how it began..

22-23 October, im helping the photographer team for the convocation photoshoot.lotsa of graduates came to our booth n it was really challenging when it came to the peak hour (even there was 4 studio) being built up..

sampai tiga empat orang beratur...fuhhhh,penat mmg penat tapi besttttttt!

firstly, i learned how to set up the lightings n the softbox. i learned how to set up my camera aperture & shutter speed according to the value that we hv choose for the lighting. (is it aperture value???errr..im not so sure about the term)...after set up the lighting and synchronize the camera with the lighting, haaaa..sampai masa untuk mencuba.

Since im the only woman photographer, hahahaha, so i became the model jap..hahahahaha..

Seriously, im not photogenic n i've to admit that i prefer being a photographer then being a model... (i wonder how am i going to get married later..mesti spoil gambar kahwin.hahahaha)

secondly, i learned a lot about studio photography.last July,i was just in the marketing team and the terms were so new to me...but this time, the chance being in the photographing team was indescribable.thank u to bg Fad,bg pia,bg suhaimi,pak tam,bg amy n bg faiz for the knowledges n advices. :))

next destination, 24-25 October, since there was only two studios being built up, so i was chose to be in the marketing team again..

sekarang, baru aku tahu camna feel salesman/woman kena reject if they try to promo something...hahaha...

seriously, it boosted my confidence level to approach ppl whom i didnt know at all.

n i learned one more thing, the skill of how to attract ppl to come to our booth. u need to smile, greet them nicely n then tell them about the speciality of your studio. hihikkk. yes, it sounds easy but fuhhhhhhh, when u experience it, then u'l know how scary it can be...

so, i wanna thank God for this great gift He have given me. I love Him!

till then, more photos coming up. keep viewing ya :))

thank you ROOMMATE!

wow!

two years being her roommate..it was a great experience after all.

Audrey Liana Anding, yes, she's the one!

thank you dear for being with me, in time of sadness and happiness~

n sorry for all my misbehaviors..

hopefully,we can be roommate again next year!

I LOVE YOU SISTAAA!

may God continue to guide you throughout your life.

KAMU pacar terbaikku...

Dear KAMU, thank you for everything.

Your presence in my life has changed me a lot.

I learned to be grateful, I learned to trust, I learned to love..

Though, at the moment, we cant go far in our relationship, in this 3 years of time,

i pray to Daddy God that our love will never fade.

but may grow stronger and stronger.

Daddy God, give both of us the patience and courage when we learn to know each other each day.

Teach us to respect each other.

Give us the peace of heart so that we will understand each other more n more.

Grant us Your love, Lord so that we may able to love each other as You have loved us.

All this while, I'm looking for a man like u to be my soul life partner...

a man who loves Christ.

a man who loves his family.

a man who loves me for who i am..

I LOVE YOU BABA.

with love,

NYONYA

-i'm single but not available-

-i'm taken-

-i'm reserved-

Daddy God, i want someone like him to be my soul life partner.

KAYD 2011

with the Empowered Music Ministry

with the Empowered Music Ministry

with the speaker of the event,Mr Erik Bryan (fourth from left)

KAYD11 26-28 August 2011

It was the third KAYD organised by Archdiocesan of Kuching.

and this was my first time joining it...

overall,i enjoyed the programme.

it touched my heart,my mind and my soul.

yes,it had changed my life.

n now,i've decided to follow Jesus.

i'l deny myself,i'l take up the cross,i'l follow Him.

i learned not to worry about my TOMORROW.

i know,God is on His way to prepare smthg good for me.

i BELIEVE in it.

and i'l continue praising Him, worshipping Him til my last breath.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

Easy to forgive, hard to forget :D

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:43-44)

This is one of the popular verses in the bible.

Lumrah manusia kan..kalau dah disakitkan, bukan senang untuk kita memaafkan, untuk melupakan apa yang terjadi dan apa lagi untuk menyayangi musuh kita kan?

Tetapi, hendak seribu daya, tak hendak seribu dalih.

Jika Tuhan dapat memaafkan kita, mengapa kita tak dapat memaafkan orang lain?

Renung-renungkan dan selamat beramal ^^,

(picture)

till then,daa~

Aku sudah jatuh cinta...

makin hari, aku makin jatuh cinta..

omputih cakap, don't find love, let love find u...that's y it's called falling in love, because u don't force urself to fall, u just fall.heee..

<-- lalang yang lemah lembut.

<-- daun ni macam hati kita jugak.walaupun daun ni tak perfect lagi, tapi dia juga la yang paling unik dan cantik.

but, wait wait..my post this time doesnt really related to love, heart n feeling...

now, it's time 4 me to tell u all about my loyal boyfren ever...my bulky black camera...

EOS550d.

<--semut.kecil tapi berbisa.aku nak jadi macam semut.hee.biarlah orang kata aku kecil,pendek,kontot dsbnya,yg penting aku menghargai diri aku sendiri :)

<--bestnya kalau dpt relaks mcm ni..xde assignment..fikir makan n tidur je..haha

<-- first time tengok orang utan besar camni...amazing weyhhh~

<-- semua benda diciptakan ada pasangannya.hee~

<-- hidup perlu saling bergantung.tetapi perlu BERDIKARI.renung2kan...

dan yang ni aku plg suka,lalat sedang bermesra-mesraan..hehe..(jangan fikir negatif,lol) penting proses ni tau~utk kemandirian spesis..heee :P

jiwang lagi~

aku tengah mengerah otak actually,nak habiskan refleksi BIG malam ni juga.

apakan daya,tiada idea.kering, dan terus kering.

jadi,aku pun dengar lagu yang aku pernah dengar dulu-dulu...

lalu la terpansa (bahasa Iban,means terlimpas,terlalu) lagu ni..

~AFRAID FOR LOVE TO FADE~

My head's in a jam can't take you off my mind
From the time we met I've been beset by thoughts of you
And the more that I ignore this feeling
The more I find my self believin'
That I just have to see you again

Refrain
I can't let you pass me by
I just can't let you go but I know
That I am much too shy to let you know
Afraid that I might say the wrong
Words and displease you
Afraid for love to fade
Before it can come true
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jose+mari+chan/afraid+for+love+to+fade_20198206.html ]
Like a child again
I'm out and lost for words
How does one define a crush combined with longing
Longing to posses you oh so dearly
I'm obsessed by you completely
I'll go mad if I can't have you

I can't let you pass me by
I just can't let you go but I know
That I am much too shy to let you know
Afraid that I might say the wrong
Words and displease you
Afraid for love to fade
Before it can come true

I can't let you pass me by
I just can't let you go
Let me say the things and say the words to let you know
I would rather say the awkward words than lose you
Or for love to fade
Before it can come true

I just love the lyrics!

I pray that my love towards Our Lord Jesus Christ will never fade away.

not to forget, my love towards my family, relatives n friends too!

Sakit sebulan sekali~

Period pain is terrible.

i cant even walk straight,sit straight,the only thing i can do is lying on my bed.

no appetite to eat at all.

rasa macam mok tumbok2 jk orang k hilang sakit tk.

rasa2nya,gigit orang pn xda mslh..

haha..

controversy!

this pic became a controversy when i uploaded it in my FB..

btw,HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND..

lots of my frens n relatives were asking for clarification...

n again,i said DIA BUKAN BOYFRIEND SAYA..

hahaha...

his name is CARL SHERMAN RIGAR..

d one that i mentioned in my post before.this pic was taken when i went for outing with him n another brother EPPI RIGAR..

they are my brothers,but not biologically~~~

P/S: i'm single by choice and i will continue to be till i meet someone that God has prepared for me.

exactly one year!

haha..again,my post about heart n feeling...

some of u might be saying that im emotional..yes,i admitted that im a bit emotional this few days..too many things burdened my mind n heart..

26th july.exactly one year being a SINGLE woman

(i called myself a woman since i turned 21 already..haha)

n yeahhh,no doubt,i'd go through a tough year...

too many things happened in this one year experience..

i was closed to one of my so-called bestfriend..hm...but i dunno how i shud acknowledge him now??is he really a true friend after what he had done to me???

let God judge him..

the story began..

mula2,geng biasa jak..then makin lama,makin rapat..

i listened to his stories and he listened to mine n i really put my trust in him...

n we were so closed that i dint expect it to happen the other way round..

i dunno why shud he betrayed our friendship..

he promised me lots of things...

but now,he BROKE it..

a year passed...

i wonder why he changed in a sudden...

goshhhhh..i felt like my heart had broken into pieces..

too many scars i guess...

but after all,i forgive u..u actually taught me the meaning of life...

because of this incident,i felt like i've wasted a year in my life..i got to know with the wrong person n it was the biggest mistake i've made..

n terus terang,aku dah FOBIA gilak2 mok bercinta gik.

P/S: this post doesnt mean to humiliate anyone but it's just a sharing so that we can be more careful in our relationship..jangan terlalu mudah percaya..

KEPADA SEMUA INSAN DI MUKA BUMI INI,

JANGANLAH MEMBERI HARAPAN ANDAI DIRI TIDAK MAMPU MELAKUKANNYA..

JANGAN BERJANJI ANDAI DIRI TIDAK PUNYA KUDRAT UNTUK MENUNAIKANNYA..

JANGAN MENIPU KERANA SUATU HARI NANTI ANDA AKAN DITIPU LEBIH DARIPADA ITU..

JANGAN TAMAK..remember this,never leave someone good to see if you can find better..because when you realize you already had the best, you will find that the best found better..

HARGAI CINTA, HARGAI WANITA.

sekian, dari insan yang sering disakiti...

mungkin mulut sering ketawa, tapi hati penuh derita~~~

Matang Wildlife Centre!

LOVE is in the air~

7 July has just passed away...

means,i turned 21 years n 4 days already.haha.gettin older n smaller i guess..??//

haha..

lotsa wishes, presents n text messages from family, relatives n frens..appreciated it a lot..a bit touched by all those gifts.THANK YOU n I LOVE U ALL..

on that exact date too,lotsa events took place.CONVOCATION DAY for KPLI.n i was assigned to be under AJK Gambar.wowwww,what a great experience.thanks IPTAR for giving me such opportunity to work with Catalia Creative Sdn Bhd.i learned many thgs about photography,lg2 psal studio photography..n yg plg best,dapat pegang camera yg bermacam2 jenis...at the end of the convocation,we built up 4 studio at the hall..abis jak task tu,it's our turn to be the photographer n the model..mmg best lah sgt2.peluang sekali seumur hidup.

terima kasih kepada Encik Fadhli, Cikgu Rosman, Abg Abul, Abg Iz, Kak Fiza n kakak2 CC yg len..seronok sgt dpt kenal dgn korang...n time kaseh sbb ajar ktorg yg msh amateur ni.haha.

Last Saturday, i went for an outing with my two beloved brothers,EPPI n CARL..

not biological brother actly..we went for movie, dinner n lepak2ing~

that was fun n i cherished the day a lot.

thanks for the birthday treat brothers.i love you both..

n now,i am looking forward to Malam Gawai this coming friday.a bz week i guess since i was selected as one of the AJK.n my KKBI class trip to Matang Wildlife n SamaJaya on the same day..duhhh..

a bit sad,coz mum n dad were bz with their works.mum bz working full swing shift this two weeks n dad was the same too.they'l b a bit free only after 19 July.n mum promised me to celebrate my bday celebration at the end of this month.thank you so much :))

till then,off to recess.HUNGRY. :P

being SINGLE is not a CURSE!

ini cuma luahan hati sahaja.tiada kaitan antara yang hidup ataupun yang telah meninggal dunia.bacalah jika anda suka dan tutup mata jika tak suka :)

dalam hidup,ada macam-macam dugaan.antara yang paling sakit bila seseorang ditipu or dikhianati oleh insan tersayang.i admit,i experienced that few times in my lifetime.i used to claim that 'every guys is the same',haha,but i know it's WRONG.sik semua laki jaik..some are just too good,cuma..cuma..cuma..haha.haish,unexplainable.

sometimes kan,i wonder bah,why BEATRICE always being cheated?am i too pathetic?am i too innocent?haha.but i know,God for sure has His own reasons.when i flew back to Sarawak last sunday,im thinking of my past life.my love memories.all the bitterness.haish,too speechless to share with u all..breaking up???unrequited love???it is for my own goodness.God actually works in His way.He want to show that i was not meant for that person.so,should i blame God?NO~

last exam,i dealt with love problem.huh,by that time,nang merinsaklah jiwa dan raga..but i managed to handle my feelings n emotions dgn adanya kawan-kawan.k la,let me named them as my appreciation (LIANA ANAK ANDING, NURHAJRINA BINTI JARAWI)..Both of them are my Dr Love.not to forget,my classmates yg banyak berik support.yes,18 of u.. :)

that was the most complicated love problem that i faced..sampeykan at one time,i just hate to LOVE.but thanks be to God,He shows me the way.im not meant for him n he's not meant for me.actually,we're not in a relationship.he's just my best fren that time.God slowly took all my tears n sadness.

Nasib x affect my exam.i thought it was but after nangga result,PRAISE THE LORD.it proved me wrong.benda ya bukannya melemahkan or menjatuhkan aku,but membuatkan aku jadi makin kuat.I'm a STRONG BEATRICE!

So now,i go on with my new life n im happy with it.BEING SINGLE IS NOT A CURSE.bak kata orang,belum masanya gik.hehe..sikpa,yg penting,jangan jadi desperate.hehe...jodoh ada di mana-mana n aku percaya,mun kita bait,TUHAN pasti akan sediakan yang terbait juak untuk kita.sik perlu perfect.yang penting,menerima kita seadanya till DEATH do us part.aisehhh.

till then,daaaa~~

Don't chase love for it is like a butterfly. The more that you run after it, the further it flies away. Leave it alone and it will come to you when you least expect it.

Praise the Lord!

Gawai???Damn AWESOME!

Trip to Sibu???Very AWESOME!

Trip to KL???Extremely AWESOME!

Holiday was fun! I enjoyed it!

Sibu trip~gathering with frens n classmates,recalling bac the precious moment that we had last time were one of the most memorable memories of 2011.thanks to Barbara n family, Agnes n family, Christine Agam, Jane Francesca n other frens for the nice stay,food n treats!

Kuala Lumpur trip~goshhhh,it was so fun being at KL.i cant stop myself from shopping n eating.$$$ pun melayang gak..hehe...thanks beloved sis for accompanying me..

besides,gathering with PLKN frens made my days at KL becoming more meaningful..my first experience ice skating at Sunway Pyramid,wow,two thumbs up.i like it...lepak2 at Putrajaya til midnight,enjoy the view,shoot here n there n the next morning,reunion at Mid Valley..main game keta,bowling,makan2...for sure,i'll cherish that moments..

6 days at Kuala Lumpur - 4 shopping complex..cukuplah..mun sik,makin banyak duit habis lak..hahaha...

One more to share,congratulations to all my classmates.thank God,we passed our exams!

till then,wanna have my dinner!

Too hard to describe.

I learned something today:

Do not take things for granted. If you love someone or something, prove it. Don't play with people's heart. It's TOO FRAGILE to be broken. If you want, make sure you appreciate it. If you don't want, better be sincere with your own feeling.

Never give your FALSE HOPE if you're not into it. You may hurt yourself n even others too.

Never force people to love you. No point bah. At first, people may do it because of his/her sympathy. But at last, that love may means nothing. It will surely fade away. So, in a relationship, look for the one who truly loves you and i can guarantee that u'l find no regret in your life.

Last note: Thanks a lot for teaching me the meaning of lives. I'm phobia of falling in love again.

SIAPA AKU?

Hmmm..

Aku selalu tertanya-tanya,apakah pandangan orang tentang aku?Lumrah manusia la kan…

And this what I used to hear..

· Skema

· Budak pandai

· Alim

· Lurus bendul (ikut je arahan)

· High class

Bagi aku, “label-label” macam ni la kadang-kadang buat orang takut nak dekat dengan aku,takut nak kawan dengan aku…

So,biar aku katakan pada seluruh dunia siapa aku sebenarnya.

ü SKEMA???errrr..not really.n i’m not NERDY too..orang salu cakap orang opsyen sains ni nerdy.pls la, tlg la jgn fikir mcm tu..frankly speaking,I’m not into books.BUKU memang kawan baik aku tp time exam je.hahaha.n one more thing,tak semestinya orang pakai spek tu budak nerd.aku pakai spek bukan sebab aku rajin baca buku tapi sebab aku dulu suka tengok tv dekat-dekat..my fault.

ü Budak pandai??? hahaha..jangan menilai kepandaian orang melalui result exam or pointer..hehe.sbb kepandaian ni sangat abstrak.cemerlang akademik tak semestinya cemerlang aspek lain.maybe im good in certain things,but dlm benda lain,kadang-kadang aku pun perlu tunjuk ajar orang juga.everyone is not perfect.that’s it.mcm aku,aku tak pandai fizik dan aku sangat susah untuk jatuh cinta dengan fizik..

ü Alim???hmmm..how to say owh…proud to say,I’m God’s child.n He is my superhero…though I used to go to church,doesn’t mean that I’m not sinful at all,doesn’t mean that I’m totally perfect..masih banyak lg benda aku perlu belajar dalam agama ni sebenarnya..who knows,one day in the future,if I have a family,then I’l know how to guide my family by His teachings.

ü Lurus bendul???oh pls la..i do BREAK the rules..n yeahh,I don’t want to stick with the rules that I feel doesn’t make sense at all.hehe..

ü High class???tersangatla tidak..satu lagi yang penting,AKU BUKAN ANAK ORANG KAYA.aku dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang sederhana.cukup makan,cukup pakai,cukup kasih sayang.tu je..hehe..walaupun aku dibesarkan di bandar,takla bermaksud aku orang yang mementingkan status,brand.. hehe.n one more thing,my EOS550d bukan my dad yang belikan.semua tu duit sendiri because my dad said to me,if that’s your passion,go on as long as u didnt burden yourself..so kumpul punya kumpul,tercapai jugak la hasrat aku untuk ada DSLR n SPEEDLIGHT sendiri.

P/S: Kesimpulannya,berdasarkan huraian di atas (macam buat esei la pulak)….hahaha..dont judge a book by its cover…

Kepada kawan-kawan yang belum dan sedang mengenali aku, buangkanlah rasa takut untuk mendekati aku hanya sebab korang ingat aku ni SKEMA,BUDAK PANDAI,ALIM,LURUS BENDUL & HIGH CLASS.aku tak seperti yang disangka dan aku suka berkawan dengan sapa2 jak…aku tak memilih dalam bab berkawan.as long as ikhlas,I’ve no problem with u..hehe..n for sure,i still have lotsa things to be learned..SETIAP MANUSIA ADA KELEBIHAN n KEKURANGAN MASING-MASING…

and kepada kawan-kawan rapat aku,they know who is the REAL Beatrice.thanks for your understanding.u know who u r.. :D :D :D

Till then,peace no war!

IBU,engkaulah ratu hatiku.

No words can describe how deep is my love for u,mum..

Yes,u mean a lot to me ^^

Have a blessed mother's day!

Special post to JHOWIEZACHEUS JOHN!

It's not a joke..n im not joking.

This post is about Jhowiezacheus John, seorang lelaki Limbang, berusia 22 years (yg penting,aku muda setahun gk dr nya..haha)

pssttt.y i chose him to be the main story of my post today??

dijadikan cerita,this morning,my rumate bukak her blog.then she shouted my name..

trus,apa lg,aku pn laju la tengok what's on her laptop?

then i saw a GREAT drawing,a picture of me with my rumate,drawn by JHOWIEZACHEUS JOHN.

seriously,i felt touched by his drawing.though it's just a quick sketch,but it really impressed me...ermm,u know,when someone appreciated u in his drawing,mmg terharu la sgt2..yerrr.

So,here's a candid shot of him.seorang jejaka yang dilahirkan dengan bakat bermain alat muzik,pandai melukis,a great teacher to-be n a gud bro too...(tk bukan bodek aa,ikhlas dr hati.haha)

pesanan jhowie: mun takorg mok nya lukis gambar takorg,rajin2 la mlawat blog nya..hehe..

HELLO,HELLO AGAIN~

assignments?DONE!

courseworks?DONE!

folio?kira DONE la..hahaha.

EXAM?coming soon.huh...angol eh.

seriously,exam kali tk nang menakutkan.hopefully,i can pass my PHYSICS paper.Amen!

Here's some of my pictures taken sepanjang ke'busy'an ku..enjoy!

kata orang,sikit2,lama2 jd bukit..start to save even a lil today,because it might be useful in the future!

FOOD loves me.n I love FOOD too.that's how LOVE should be.LOVE EACH OTHER ^^

Watermelon seeds..dare to eat it??

Till then,c ya!

"SORRY"

what a tough semester..so sorry my dear blog for d late post..

i've been so busy with piles n piles of assignments all these while..

n now,here i am!!!

left with one more coursework to be submitted..yeayyy!

here are some pictures for u all..hv a look yah!

kalaulah hidup ini ada salinan kedua...

Goodbye sad February, hello March!

I hope u'l treat me well..

yahh,it has been a month since my last post..

piles of assignments, courseworks,too much programme here n there,

pendek kata,bak kata org srwak,x tekabir sy nk molah semua..

but thank God,50% of assignments have been submitted..left with another half more..

caiyok2..

back to the title of my entry,

kalau lah hidup ini ada salinan kedua, what will happen to me?

do i need to face all those trials?

cinta...

something yang sukar diungkapkan..

kadang-kadang bahagia...

kadang-kadang menyakitkan...

till at one time, i felt that love is just meaningless and i dont trust in love anymore..

yerr,jiwang ehhh~

but i know, God is always by my side..he never leave me..i trust that..

i offer up everything into His hands..

it's 10 March 2011 n yesterday was Ash Wednesday :)

i'm welcoming the season of Lent..

i wanna change..

i want to be a better person..more loving, more caring..

i want to learn how to forgive and how to forget..

though it not as easy as we think, but if we put our trust in God, i am sure that He will show us the light of life..

P/S: to all my frens out there, sorry for all my wrongdoings all these while.pls forgive me!

(1 more day to go before the end of my School Based Observation at SK St Teresa, Kuching)

What should i say?

Have faith that what happens is for the best, whether you understand it or not.

I wanna say this:

Semula ku tak tahu
Engkau juga kan ingin memilikinya
Bukankah ku lebih dulu
Bila engkau temanku
Sebaiknya tak mengganggu

Dia untukku
Bukan untukmu
Dia milikku
Bukan milikmu
Pergilah kamu
Jangan kau ganggu
Biarkan aku
Mendekatinya

Kamu
Tak akan mungkin
Mendapatkannya
Karena dia
Berikan aku
Pertanda cinta
Janganlah kamu banyak bermimpi...ohh
Dia Untuk aku

Bukankah belum pasti
Kamu juga kan jadi
Dengan dirinya

Dia yang menentukan
Apa yang kan terjadi
Tak usah mengaturku

Dia untukku
Bukan untukmu
Dia milikku
Bukan milikmu
Lihatlah nanti
Lihatlah saja
Biarkan aku
Mendekatinya

Kamu
Tak akan mungkin
Mendapatkannya
Karena dia
Berikan aku
Pertanda juga
Janganlah kamu banyak bermimpi oohh

Kusarankan engkau mundur saja...ooo

But,i know i shouldn't say that...Perhaps,i may say this:

tersentak aku seketika
seakan-akan tak percaya
saat ku lihat kau telah berdua
sebelum sampai diriku melepas rindu

tak satupun kata terucap
ketika ku tanya mengapa
airmata penyesalan mengalir deras
itu pun tak bisa kembalikan dirimu

reff:
ku maafkan semua ini
walau tak ingin lagi ku melihatmu
ku maklumi ketidaksabaranmu menanti
bejana cinta yg ku tinggal sesaat
sudahlah, lupakanlah
tak mungkin lagi kau ku miliki

The song of my heart!

Selena - Dreaming of You

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I'd stay up and think of you

And I'd wish on a star

That somewhere you are thinking of me too

Cuz I'm dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Then here in my room,

Dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you even see me

And I wonder if you know I'm there

If you looked in my eyes

Would you see what's inside?

Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close

But so far, all I have are dreams of you

So, I wait for the day and the courage to say

How much I love you(Yes, I do)

I'll be dreaming of you tonight

Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Then here in my room,

Dreaming about you and me

Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming of you

Ahhh...I can't stop dreamin

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

I'd stay up and think of you

And I still can't believe that you came up to me

And said, "I love you; I love you too"

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight

Till tomorrow, and for all of my life

And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be

Then here in my room,

Dreaming with you endlessly...

It describes my feeling well right now.i miss u.i miss u.i miss u. :(

Can I cry???

T.T

That describes my feeling right now.

I dont know why.

urgh...

I dunno what happen to me lately...

too many things puzzled in my mind...

too many trials that I have to face...

too many problems that need to be solved...

I dun wanna T.T

but it is d best remedy to feel good...

(at last,teardrops on my cheeks)

I'm not perfect.

I cant make everyone feels happy when they are with me, or agree with all the time.

(i guess,everyone feels d same way too right?)

And i wont expect perfection too...

I want to be myself,

I want to be who I am and be comfortable with it no matter what anyone else thinks.

Now, Im tired of feeling bad about myself.

and I want to start a brand new life.

I want to enjoy the little things in my life.

I want to forget about what people thinks about me.

I just want to live life to the fullest.

err,mean to say,live life with no worries.

Life is never easy, no one said it's easy n yeah,we know it's not.

but, as long as i remain true to myself and be who I am, i think it would be a little less harder.

Before i ended this post, I wanna ask for forgiveness if i ever hurt anyone of u.

So sorry, i didnt meant it.

And i wanna grab this chance to thank all my loved ones for always being there when i'm sad.

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Thanks for the inspiration.

I LOVE YOU!

My Lord, my saviour!

My family

My younger sister

My elder sister

My relatives

My room mate

My lil cousins

My 1st prince, RALPH

My 2nd prince, RYAN

Till then, i wanna rest my mind.

zzzzzz....

Phrase of the day:

Being yourself isn't really about trying to be unique or fitting in. It's more about learning to like and accept yourself and letting society fit around you. If people don't accept you for being the way you are, then those people aren't worth anything.